The Red Circle

Death Sticks the Landing: Dario Argento Edition

By Tom Nix

NOTE: This article contains major video spoilers. Some of these movies will be discussed later as part of the October Horror Feature. There is also a LOT of blood.

Sometimes, Death is an overachiever. Dario Argento cemented his name in the halls of horror by capturing some of his most bravura performances. These are just a few.

1) Tenebre – The Kitchen Kill

Dario Argento’s Tenebre follows a semi-famous horror writer who discovers he has a copycat killer performing some of the deeds in his book. Even in a movie with a glorious one-take introduction to a lesbian stabbing and the world’s most athletic doberman, one (relatively short by Argento standards) kill stands above the rest in sheer redundancy. While reading a book, the brunette in her house suddenly finds her self both unable to continue reading as well as an expert in interior decorating. Despite having launched over 40% of liquid out of a lady, the killer takes a tip from Zombieland and perfects the double tap. Although in this case it’s a quadruple tap of lumberjacking to the chest. Watch and enjoy:

2) Suspiria – The Human Exclamation Mark

There’s not enough kind words to throw at Suspiria. Rest assured that will be handled at a later date. In the meantime, there’s one of the best kills ever recorded to talk about. Dario Argento had a flair for making the indescribably brutal indescribably beautiful. Informing every Guillermo Del Toro movie ever made, Argento flooded his frames with primary colors – and coated them with the boldest red blood he could find. Watch as a girl who managed to escape the evilest art school in germany get her comeuppance. Apparently near asphyxiation, repeated stabbing, and a knife to the heart weren’t enough punishment. It’s necessary to top it all off by turning a stained glass window into a different work of art. Bonus: This one’s a two-fer.

3) Deep Red – Basically Everything in the Movie.

One of the most electric slasher movies ever made, Deep Red is certainly one of the most violent. From nearly decapitating a corpse with a window pane, to boiling a face off, to cornerfucking someone’s mouth apart, to one of the most needless extra effort Death ever put in. Watch carefully at the man who gets his leg caught on a dogcatcher van. You don’t get to see the scene where he gets shot just before running out into the street, but you do get to see fate’s machinations in full force. After getting tripped up and having his face dragged all over the European streets, he gets relieved of his duties by an errant street curb. Not satisfied with a broken neck, a gunshot wound, and shredded skin, Death decides its best to seal the deal with a truck tire. THE. END.

Note #2: Do not watch any clips after this kill if you do not want the end of the movie ruined for you.

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