The Red Circle

By Tom Nix // 10.15.09

And that’s basically the best way to look at this film. It’s a movie that is not only ABOUT Rock and Roll, it IS Rock and Roll in its execution.

To really talk about the plot would be foolhardy, but here’s the breakdown: Guitar Wolf is a jet Rock Band. They have many fans. One of them, Ace, wants to be just like them – he wants the life of a rock and roller. After saving Guitar Wolf from a corrupt club manager (by, no less, delivering a speech about Rock and Roll), they make him a blood brother and vow to rescue him, should he need it. Meanwhile, aliens have surrounded the earth, like so many sperm trying to pierce an egg. They are causing the dead to rise in order to make the Earth more suitable for takeover. Ace meets and falls in love with a ladyboy. This angers him. Guitar Wolf show up to teach him the true meaning of love and Rock and Roll, and they also save the Earth with their unmatched powers of Metal.

That should be enough to make you run out and rent this film, but let me press this even further. One major character wears what can only be described as a business casual swimsuit for most of the film’s running time. 25% of the film’s dialogue is the shouting of the words “ROCK AND ROLL!!” in a thick Japanese accent. The Members of Guitar Wolf (Guitar Wolf, Bass Wolf, and Drum Wolf, natch) never remove their sunglasses and rarely smile. Fire comes out of their instruments. Guitar Wolf, even while riding a motorcycle (powered by flames) never removes his Gibson SG.

That should be enough to make you run out and buy this film, but let me shed a little more light on this. Guitar Wolf has the ability to teleport. Guitar Wolf has the ability to electrify guitar picks and fling them at supersonic speeds into the heads of the dead. Drum Wolf and Bass Wolf have the ability to bicker and snarl. The main female protagonist is more upset that the zombies in her house have torn up the tank top she was going to wear than at the zombies being in her house. There is a scene where people get in a violent argument because none of them have seen NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and that would have been really useful right now. Sometimes, instead of using a wipe or a cut to transition scenes, the film simply explodes. And then starts anew.

Maybe some of you have already added this film to your Netflix queue. Let me give you just a few more insights into the method of WILD ZERO. This film has a drinking game that is on the DVD. You drink every time 1) A zombie’s head explodes. 2) Someone yells ROCK AND ROLL!! 3) Something explodes. 4) The ladyboy faints. 5) Someone drinks. 6) Someone runs a comb through their massive hair. Within the first ten minutes, you will have taken a drink twenty times.

This is a film that, despite its pitiful budget and its loose grasp of what a plot is, fully believes in the power of ROCK AND ROLL and imagines a world where anything you can possibly imagine can and will happen. This film has more balls than most of the guys that fought World War II, and feels like the music video to Alejandro Jodorowky’s prog rock album. TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY wishes it were this film. Christopher Guest wishes he were this film. Your dreams wish they were this film. There is nothing wrong with this film, except the parts that suck. And even those are wiped clean by sheer force of METAL.

ROCK AND ROOOOOOLLLLLL!!!! out of 10.

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