The Red Circle

by Tom Nix

The Long Good Friday 009: The Long Black Friday

Shane Black. Brilliant. Hilarious. Iconic. Ignored.

Apart from Predator and Lethal Weapon, Shane Black as a writer has been shamefully overlooked by Hollywood. It’s not that he’s written bad films – far from it. He’s even had his fair share of successes. But as a whole, his career is criminally underseen. His stories are full of some of the best dialogue for rampant, unchecked quoting. Here’s three films that the best of you have seen. The rest of you should fire up the Netflix queue, because this is the most fun you’ve had yet on a Long Black Friday.

1. The Monster Squad

Shane Black’s first screenwriting credit. Made in 1987, the story follows a group of kids who stumble upon Dracula’s plot to enslave the world. Since no one else believes them, they form a club called Monster Squad, and set out to save the universe from Dracula, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, and The Creature. Scary German Guy can come, too. Witness: Six year olds saying “fuck.” Witness: The Wolf Man getting kicked in the balls. Witness: The most flaming Dracula of all time!

The Red Circle Choice Quote: “If we pull this off, I’m gonna shit!“

2. The Last Boy Scout

In what could have been a thoroughly average action flick, Bruce Willis’ private eye and Damon Wayan’s ex-Pro Football player attempt to stop a stadium from being blown up real good. Although perfectly playing to type as a gruff, complaining, hardass, Bruce Willis’ Joe Hallenbeck is fully formed and figured by Shane Black’s blistering dialogue. His spoonerism of a last name is just the icing on the cake. Witness: Bruce Willis dancing. Witness: a fully loaded sock puppet. Witness: Damon Wayans acting in a movie!

The Red Circle Choice Quote: “Yes, officer. As a matter of fact there is a problem. Apparently there are too many bullets in this gun.”

3. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

It may well be the best movie released in 2005. A pre-Tony Stark Robert Downey Jr (and believe me, he is better in this than he is there) and a reinvigorated Val Kilmer (playing a homosexual Hollywood police advisor named Gay Perry) are thrown into a murder mystery on Christmas Day in Los Angeles. That’s all I need to say. The rest simply must be seen. You will probably never get to watch two actors attack a script with as much wit and delight as you will here. It’s a movie that can, and should be watched as often as possible. Witness: The greatest narration in movie history. Witness: A man getting shot with a cock gun.  Witness: Laurence Fishburne as a beer swilling bear!

The Red Circle Choice Quote:  ALL OF THEM

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