The Red Circle

[201]0 // 005 Pootie Tang [2002] dir. Louis C.K.

Wow.

I’m not even really sure what I just watched. I mean, it all made sense. There was a plot, and there were characters. They deliver lines, and there’s sort of a theme here. I can totally understand why this is almost universally regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. I don’t agree with that sentiment, though. It’s not a bad movie. It’s an off-its-rocker-balls-insane-ridiculous movie. It’s aimed at  only a certain taste, and those who don’t dig the entirely absurd won’t dig this.

There’s no point in trying to sum up the plot. Its just something that needs to be seen. But let me break down what you’re in for. This is not a blaxploitation spoof. It’s not even a 70’s spoof. It is the story of a man named Pootie Tang who is so cool, he doesn’t even need to speak real words. So, when you hear the words “Sine your pitty on the runny kine,” you know that you’re either gonna get your ass whipped by his magic belt (“You can whip anyone’s ass in the world using just this belt,” says his dad), or you’re in the running for some Pootie loving.

The movie is notable for making Wanda Sykes tolerable, even though she really only just dances the entire time, shooting off half-yelled dialogue. That sounds a little worse than it actually is. Her character is almost more of a narrative tool. She, along with the actual, real narrator, co-tells the story that we’re watching. It’s not a supremely effective way of getting the point across, and it seems like the whole thing was invented just so we could get a not-so-good narrator narrating his own conversation joke later in the film.

And I guess that’s sort of the problem I have with Pootie Tang. There are so many completely wild, unexpected sources of humor that its actually a little sad that some of the jokes are so painfully obvious and unfunny. But, as often as there are groaners (“Pootie was rejuvenated. Rejuvenated! He was juvenated, lost it, and got juvenated again. Rejuvenated!” Ugh.), there are sublime physical jokes and David Cross in blackface.

I’d like to thank Louis CK for that last one. The man’s been a huge force in stand-up for years, despite people’s complete ignorance of him, and his efforts bring a lot of nice comedy cred to this film — almost all completely miscast for effect. David Cross as a black man? Dave Attell as a corporate stooge? I’d also like to thank CK for giving Kristen Bell her first screen role. You’ll have to wait till after the credits though. The man has devised a completely whacked out premise that would confound and anger most normal viewers. I can’t believe it took his wife this long to divorce him.

Honestly, just like the car jumping scene in Transporter 2, this movie has tons of “you’re with it or you’re not” moments. I can’t fault anyone for switching off when one of Chris Rock’s three characters gets killed in a freak gorilla mauling accident. I just don’t want to be friends with that person. This movie holds so much brilliance, that is worth sitting through some of the garbage it throws at you. Chris Rock is a highlight throughout. So is Jennifer Coolidge. It’s also slightly offputting to see two future The Wire actors cheesing it up in a movie like this. Especially when one of them is Reg. E. Cathy. Lance Crouthers has no career after playing Pootie. He doesn’t even have a wikipedia page. Seriously. That’s how deep this man went after whipping 100 men with a pimp belt.

This movie features some of the oddest structuring ever committed to film (You are not watching a movie called Pootie Tang. You are actually watching an 85 minute clip of a movie called Pootie Tang in Sine Your Pitty on the Runny Kine.), some of the smartest bits of stupid dialogue ever written (“Pootie Tang whip your ass so bad, you can write it off on your taxes!”), and the single best send up of the “drawing guns at noon” archetype I think I have ever seen.

There is no way that everyone would sort of love Pootie Tang the way I do. It’s got some shameful writing in it, but it is balanced out by a consumptive love for the insane and the unexplainable. It is a singular film, not tied to anything before it. Plus, it has a cow and a stalk of corn giving life advice. There is nothing else out there like Pootie Tang, and that is a mixed blessing.

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